I was stumbling through the Baltimore Sun’s website today and came across a nice article on the top 5 meathead hangouts in Baltimore City. It is no surprise that there were two listed in the five from the Federal Hill area. Even less surprising is the fact that they are number one and two on the lists! Here is the list from the Baltimore Sun’s website:

“1. Magerk’s Pub and Grill, 1061 S. Charles St.
Yo, bartender, lemme get a round of Miller Lites and some shots of Cuervo for the ladies.
2. Mad River Bar and Grille, 1110 S. Charles St. (pictured)
As the bartender told Casper’s friend, “This is Mad River, bro.” …
3. The Bay Cafe, 2809 Boston St. #439
Because who needs Ocean City when the beaches and babes are right here in Bmore?
4. The Greene Turtle, 722 S. Broadway
Meathead 1: “Dude, you totally just spilled Miller Lite all over my pink button-down Geoffrey Beane shirt.”
Meathead 2: “Sorry, bra.”
5. Angels Rock Bar, 34 Market Place, Power Plant Live
Where meatheads go to pretend they’re tough.

Honorable Mention goes to the late, great Baja Beach Club.”I love Federal Hill! I spend a lot of time there. You can most certainly catch me at a bar in Federal Hill on a Friday or Saturday night (90% of the time it is Drifters). Federal Hill is itself an oxymoron, boasting the fact that it is the most and least pretentious place in all of Baltimore City. With the right advice, you can completely avoid all those fight-starting meatheads.

First, stay away from these three bars on any night: Magerks, Ropewalk and Mad River. Magerks is a Philly bar (Monte… err.. Pangwin is going to hate me for this, being a Philly fan and all), but in addition to that they have the highest duche-bag to non duche-bag ratio in the City (I capitalized City on purpose when referring to the great Baltimore City). Mad River, with the exception of its bar staff, ranks right up there! Ropewalkhas the unfortunate curse of being excessivly crowded on the weekends. That and their wait staff/bartenders are often rude and pretentious! Visiting either of those places will most likely net you into a fight.

There are GREAT places in Federal Hill, however! Drifters (my personal favorite), Nevins, Reighley’s, the Stalking Horse, Grumpies, The Dog Pub (Thirsty Dog) and many more. I have never had any issues with the above establisments. Although they can get crowded, they are usually full of the more laid back crowd. Drifters has dancing; Nevins has karaoke (and cheap car bombs and Viticus which in itself is worth the trip); The Dog Pub has mini-beers that go down so easily yet are so fantastic; Reighley’s, Grumpies, and the Stalking Horse are all fun in their own right.

In the spirit of the Baltimore Sun’s list of the 5 worst meathead places in Baltimore, I offer my own list:

The Top Five Places in Federal Hill to Get Wasted and Make Poor Life Decisions

1. Drifters Raw Bar and Grill – 1024 S. Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21230
   During the week they have awesome drink and food specials. They host the greatest happy hour in the city on Fridays ($10 all you can drink from 6-9), dancing to live DJ’s Thursday-Saturdays and the hottest patrons around! Highly recommended!
2. Reighley’s – 36 East Cross St. Baltimore, MD 21230
   Reighley’s is good for several reasons. First, they have great food. I love oysters (no surprise that raw bars are the top two choices for me) and Reighley’s has the best… from all over the world. They have DJ’s on the weekends and a nice selection of alcohol.
3. Nevins – West Cross St. Baltimore, MD 21230
   Look up Nevins on the internet and you will find very little pointing you in their direction. This place can be easily considered a dive bar. I plead the opposite: Nevins is the most underrated bar on Cross Street. It features karaoke and Viticus. Let me be the first to tell you that Viticus may be the best tasting liquor I have ever had! I have no idea what is in it, but I know it is fantastic!
4. The Dog Pub - 20 East Cross St. Baltimore, MD 21230
   The only “chain” on my list is Thirsty Dog Pub. This place has the best pizza in Federal Hill and their two-for-one locally brewed beers are awesome.
5. Taps – The corner of Fort and Charles Streets Baltimore, MD 21230
   Taps is a brand new establishment that is a great place to get away from the usual hussle and bustle of Federal Hill. Taking over the former Fort Charles Pub, Taps is a great place to kick back and have a few beers

Honorable mentions: No Idea, Don’t Know, Grumpies, and Crazy Lils

Registration is open for the inaugural season of the Baltimore County Co-Ed Softball Leage in Arbutus Maryland.  All games will be played Sunday afternoons @ Relay Elementary.  If you are interested in starting a team, head on over to the website: http://www.pangwinandtertle.com/bcsl/ now to get started and to get more information!  Individuals are also welcome to sign up!  Thanks!
Neal Moorhouse

Tickets are on sale now for the 4th Annual Guzzle and Gobble!  This year it will be held @ Taps Baltimore on November 22nd!

Guzzle and Gobble is a yearly event where we get trashed and eat Thanksgiving food!  This year we’ll have touch football, all-you-can-drink specials, a beer pong tournament with cash prizes, and live bands!  Get your tickets and info now by visiting the website at http://www.GuzzleAndGobble.com!